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Ultrasdf is YouTube Poop's creating YouTuber by RemSlyPro.

Transcript Edit

  • Guy: Hey, what do you get for your birthday?
  • Little Guy: I've got pie! 
  • Guy: (chuckling) 
  • (little guy turns into a pie and screams) 
  • Guy: (screams) 
  • (shift to pie in an oven) 
  • Guy: That was weird. 
  • (ultrasdf title) 
  • (static) 
  • Mr. Burger: Hey, Joey! Do you want to eat me? 
  • Joey: No thanks, Mr. Burger. 
  • Mr. Burger: But I wanna die! 
  • (static)
  • (Guy pulls light switch, guy falls into the pit and screams)
  • Guy: That was weird.
  • (static)
  • Girl 1: (carrying a knife) Hey Do you want to play catch the knife?
  • Girl 2: Sure! (gets stabbed) 
  • Girl 1: Man, you suck at this game. 
  • (static) 
  • (phone rings guy hangs up) 
  • Robber: This is a robbery. 
  • (guy hangs down, yelps and screams) 
  • (static) 
  • Clown: HAHA! They said I would never teach a llama to drive! 
  • Llama: (screaming)
  • Clown: No, llama, no!
  • (Llama drives off the cliff)
  • (static)
  • Guy: Hello, mine turtle!
  • Mine Turtle: Hello!
  • Man: Oh, no! I am not stepping on you!
  • (car crashes and llama runs around screen)
  • (static)
  • (Guy pressing explosion button, banjo plays)
  • Other Guy 1: Hey, had you hear the banjo-?
  • (Other Guy 2 explosion and banjo explodes)
  • Other Guy 1: Apples!
  • (paused)
  • Guy: Hm.
  • (static)
  • Guy (Offscreen): Hello, burger!
  • Burger: I used to be a pie. 
  • Kid (Offscreen): Oh, boy! What flavor? 
  • Burger: Pie flavor. 
  • (a pie pops out of burger while electric guitar music plays) 
  • Both (Offscreen): Oh! 
  • (static) 
  • (the suicidal guy lands on the ground) 
  • (static) 
  • Guy 1: Here, hold this. 
  • (Sticks sword into guy 2's stomach and walks away)
  • (static)
  • Doctor: Sir, you appear to have a very severe case of... baby voice.
  • Sir: But it's opposite day.
  • Doctor: (crying like a baby)
  • (static)
  • Banana Guy: Hey, do you want a banan-?
  • (Poilce Cop shoots Banana Guy)
  • Murder: (Offscreen) HEADSHOT!
  • (static)
  • Mugger and Kid (at the same time): You're getting mugged!
  • Mugger: AHH! HOW THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!
  • (static)
  • Father: Now, son. Don't touch that technology.
  • (Son pulled onto that technology)
  • Father: Pffft! Screw you!
  • (static)
  • Mother: Here comes the airplane!
  • Fat Guy: I'm so full.
  • (static)
  • (guy 1 pulls sword out from guy 2 and screams)
  • World: (yelps)
  • (static)
  • Johnny: Hey, Bobby! Play that one about falling down the stairs!
  • Bobby: Sure thing, Johnny!
  • (Bobby continuously falls down the stairs)
  • Johnny: I love it!
  • Guy: (muffled) I love it!
  • (static)
  • Guy 1: Hey, hey. Hey, guy. Smell my flower.
  • Guy 2: (smells this flower) Mmmmmmm.
  • (boxing glove punches Guy 2)
  • (static)
  • Narrator: And now, the funniest thing you've ever seen — from really far away.
  • Other Guy 2: I'm so full.
  • Other Guy 1: You're-!
  • (explosion)
  • Other Guy 1: Fat!
  • (static)
  • Serious Guy: I'm going to punch your dog! (dog gasping)
  • Victim:KILL NO ONE!
  • (Victim punches Serious Guy)
  • (static)
  • Poilce Cop: Hey, kid! You can't skate here!
  • Skater: You can't tell me what to do!
  • (skater falls into pit and screaming) 
  • Skater: That is weird. 
  • (static) 
  • Narrator: And now, a cow pretending to be a man.
  • Cow: Alan, are you a cow? 
  • Alan: What, no!
  • Cow: Yeah, me neither!
  • Alan: What?
  • (static)
  • Billy: I want to be a pie!
  • (Billy shift to an pie in an oven)
  • Billy: No, no, NOOO, AHH-
  • (Billy being R.I.P without everyone)
  • (static)
  • Guy: Kitten fight!
  • Man: No, wait! I'm allergic to adorableness!
  • (gets hit in the face by a kitten)
  • (picks up kitten, which gives him a really cute face)
  • Man: Aww! But it's opposite day.
  • (Guy gets hit in the face by a kitten)
  • (Guy says aw and screaming)
  • (Guy being R.I.P without everyone)
  • (static)
  • Man: I'm allergic to myself...
  • (Tombstone says R.I.P Allergric to itself 2010 - 2010)
  • (static)
  • Man: Hey, it says "Hey, it says "Gullible" on the ceiling!" on the ceiling!
  • (guy looks up of the title called "Hey, it says "Gullible" on the celing!")
  • Guy: Oh, it does-. Aw, and you stole my lungs!
  • Guy 1: Gullible—
  • (static)
  • Man: (pffting) Screw gravity!
  • (The piano crashes backward)
  • (The piano crashes on a guy)
  • (static)
  • Teenager: FFFFFFFFFF***************************-!
  • (static)
  • Mother: Have you seen Susie?
  • Father: No, I think she've got outside!
  • Mother: No, Susie! Don't walk in the road!
  • Father: Hm?
  • Susie: Look, Mom! I made it!
  • (Susie get crushed by car)
  • (Tombstone saying R.I.P Little girl got crushed with a car 2010 - 2010)
  • (static)
  • Snarky Man: Nice hat.
  • Guy: Thanks!
  • Snarky Man: I was being sarcastic.
  • Magician Guy: Well, I stole all faces!
  • (both facepalm where their faces used to be)
  • (static)
  • (other guys facepalm where their faces used to be)
  • (static)
  • Father: Hey, son! Catch! (throws ball)
  • Son: Ok, dad! I'm going to catch, I'm going to catch, I'm going to ca-!
  • (static)
  • Singers: Desmond the Moon Bear!
  • Desmond: How did I ge-?
  • (Desmond gets squashed by ball which never changed size to match perspective)
  • (static)
  • (guy plays trumpet)
  • Police Cop: Hey, you've got to license for that?
  • (guy blows trumpet into his ear, like shooting himself with a gun, killing himself)
  • (Question mark (?) appears above the police cop's head)
  • (static)
  • (Man being hit by muffins)
  • Man: Aw, man! Are you ever going to run out of muffins?
  • Muffin Man: No!
  • (Man being hit by muffins again)
  • (Tombstone saying R.I.P)
  • (static)
  • Harold: What are you up too, son?
  • I Like Trains Kid: I like trains.
  • Harold: (laughs) Yes, you do.
  • (Harold paused and get hit by a train)
  • (static)
  • Man: Pfffft! Screw gravity!
  • (man press an button and the screen is upside down)
  • (man falls into ground and guy smiles)
  • (static)
  • Brian: Hey, Stacy! Do you want to go to the prom with me?
  • Stacy: I'm sorry, but I'm a ghost.
  • Brian: But you're not dead-.
  • (A criminal shoots her in her head)
  • (Stacey the Ghost floats away)
  • Stacey the Ghost: Bye, Brian.
  • (static)
  • Man 1: Hey, buddy! Do you want to take this outside?
  • Man 2: Sure!
  • Man 1: Wow, what a lovely evening
  • Man 2: This is a really good i-! 
  • (both looks up) 
  • (Stacey the Ghost floats away again) 
  • (Stacey the Ghost echos) 
  • Stacey the Ghost: Bye, Brian. 
  • (static) 
  • Orphanage Master: The orphans! They're all dead! What kind of man could do this?! 
  • (orphans are all dead) 
  • Guy: I did! 
  • (police cop shoots orphanage master) 
  • (static) 
  • Bully: Hey, you know who was gay? You...
  • (man fights with him) 
  • (Text White Bold: SCENE MISSING)
  • (static) 
  • (chair muffled) 
  • Chair: Honey, do you like my new shoes? 
  • Harold: You are a chair, darling.
  • (chair muffled yell louder)
  • Chair: I CAN DREAM, HAROLD!
  • (static)
  • Guy: Quick, don't think about ca-!
  • (other guy shoots)
  • Mother: Have you seen my baby-?
  • (other guy shoots again)
  • (static)
  • Jim: Goodbye, world.
  • Guy: No, wait! You had so much to live for!
  • (static)
  • Mirror: (muffled) Knock, knock.
  • Guy: Who's there?
  • Mirror: (slamming open on guy) A MIRROR!
  • (static)
  • Waitress: Miss, you need to pay for your food!
  • Patron: Nope! (leaves) 
  • Mugger: (pops out) You're getting mugged! 
  • (makes gun sound) 
  • (static) 
  • Cake: (screams) 
  • (static) 
  • Guy: Piano! 
  • (The piano crashes on him and does a low note)
  • Guy: (muffled) Whose i-?
  • (cake falls into ground and other guy stepped on)
  • (static)
  • (other guys fight)
  • Moon: Hey, you 2 should kiss!
  • (static)
  • Patient: Doctor, I'm afraid of backstories.
  • Doctor: When did this all start?
  • Patient: Well. (screams)
  • (static)
  • Larry: What's going on, guys?
  • Man: Larry, this is an intervention. You need to stop breaking people's necks!
  • (Larry snaps guy's neck)
  • Larry: What are you talking about?
  • Man: This intervention.
  • (Larry screams and runs away)
  • (static)
  • Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid you have brain cancer.
  • Narrator: Suddenly, pineapples.
  • (Doctor and patient are surrounded by pineapples, and both heads have been replaced with a pineapple)
  • Doctor: (muffled) Well, the good news is you don't have brain cancer anymore.
  • Patient: This does not help.
  • (the patient's pineapple head falls off)
  • (static)
  • (dachshund panting)
  • Owner: You're a pie! (shift to pie in an oven) 
  • (static) 
  • Conspiracy Theorist: OH, NO! GIANT FLYING SHEE-! 
  • (conspiracy theorist gets squashed by a stegosaurus) 
  • Stegosaurus: I am a stegosaurus! 
  • (static) 
  • (time machine appears) 
  • Time Traveler Guy: Aw, crap. 
  • (time machine backs to present) 
  • (time machine appears) 
  • Time Traveler Guy: It worked!
  • (blue screen of death appears)
  • (time traveler guy screams)
  • (static)
  • (worker presses a button on the elevator)
  • Old Man: You darn kids get off my property!
  • (worker presses a button on the elevator)
  • (static)
  • (Do the Flop Guy crashes into a window.)
  • (static)
  • Guy 1: Hey, cool hat!
  • (tries the hat on and disappears as the hat encompasses his entire body)
  • (The piano crashes on him and does a low note)
  • Guy 2: (muffled) Whose idea was this?!
  • (static)
  • Sun: Hey, buddy! Look over here!
  • (the guy turns to look)
  • Sun: (chuckles) Now you're blinding!
  • Guy: (with sunglasses) What are you talking about?
  • Sun: Oh.
  • (static)
  • Guy 1: Here, hold this.
  • (gives bomb to guy 2) 
  • (bomb almost explodes but guy 1 gets it back before it can explode)
  • Guy 1: Thanks.
  • (explosion)
  • Guys: Apples!
  • (static)
  • (guy's head zips open to reveal the baby and looks at dead mother)
  • Baby: (cries)
  • (static)
  • Ranger: What are you, a man or a mouse?!
  • (Mine Turtle looks at the ranger)
  • Mine Turtle: Hello!
  • (Ranger is pressing button)
  • Ranger: Oh- (explosion)
  • (static)
  • Guy 1: Hey, do you know that carrots are good in your eyesight?
  • Guy 2: (sticks carrots in his eyes) Aw, what the hell is wrong with you?
  • (static)
  • Potato Killer: Die, potato!
  • Potato: No, but it's opposite day.
  • Potato Killer: OH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
  • (potato shoots potato killer)
  • (potato killer being R.I.P without everyone)
  • (static)
  • (Text: Alien destroy the people)
  • (static)
  • Citizen 2: OH, NO! GIANT FLYING SHEE-!
  • (Citizen 2 dies)
  • (Citizens screams and run away)
  • Rebel: Throw... the... CHEEEEEEEEESE!
  • (Rebel throws cheese at the flying saucer)
  • (flying saucer fires laser and Rebel runs away)
  • (police cops shoots flying saucer)
  • Narrator: From really far away.
  • Soldier 1: Shoot it down!
  • (Soldier 2 fires flying saucer)
  • (Citizens screams)
  • (flying saucer crashes into the town)
  • Citizen 3: Yeah!
  • Citizen 1: (offscreen quietly like his normal voice) Those are clouds.
  • (Marmite appears)
  • Citizen 4: Marmite, what are you doing?!
  • (static)
  • Eddie: You're leaving me?
  • Zelda: Sorry, Eddie. I met a real man.
  • Big Baby: WHAA.
  • (static)
  • (Two people standing)
  • Man: I'm a very tall midget.
  • Guy: You're adopted.
  • (static)
  • Guy: Aw, look at the little baby!
  • Little Baby: Weh!
  • Guy: And now, look at the big baby!
  • (guy's head zips open to reveal the baby)
  • Baby: You fool.
  • Guy: Oh.
  • (static)
  • Bully: I'm going to punch your face!
  • I Like Trains Kid: I like trains.
  • Bully: NOOOOOOOO- (gets hit by a train)
  • (static)
  • Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid you had brain cancer.
  • (man barfs rainbows)
  • Everyguys (offscreen): RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIINBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWS!!!
  • (static)
  • Harold: What are you drawing, honey?
  • Harold's Daughter: I'm drawing a bear!
  • Desmond: How did I get here?
  • (static)
  • Guy: (sliding over to the lady) Hey, baby! Are you an- (gets hit by train)
  • (static)
  • Victim: Save me, SuperGuy!
  • SuperGuy: No.
  • (SuperGuy stepped Victim's hand and Victim screams)
  • (Victim falls)
  • Victim: You're a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
  • (static)
  • SuperTree: I'll save you, treepowers activate!
  • (SuperTree turns into a tree)
  • Vitctim: -iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
  • (victim falls into the ground)
  • (static)
  • Potato Killer: Die, potato!
  • Potato: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
  • Potato Killer: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-
  • Potato: NOOOOOOO- (presses Mine Turtle's button and exploded)
  • (static)
  • Guy 1: Quick, don't think about-!
  • (Guy 2 pukes out)
  • (static)
  • Guy 1: Hey, buddy! Turn that frown!
  • Guy 2: Ok! (spins head and splashes his head)
  • (static)
  • Llama: (screams)
  • (music playing)
  • (Llama drives off a cliff)
  • (static)
  • Patient: Doctor, I'm afraid of hacks!
  • Doctor: When did this all start?
  • Patient: Well. (screams)
  • (blue screen of death appears)
  • (static)
  • Narrator: And now, big baby.
  • Boss: Steve, I'm giving you a promotion.
  • (Steve smiles)
  • (big baby sound in black, bold letters of "WAH" briefly appears across screen)
  • Voiceover: WHAA.
  • Boss: Yep, now you're fired.
  • (Steve frowns)
  • (static)
  • Video Gamer 1: Hey, man! Do you want to play some video games?
  • Video Gamer 2: Sure!
  • Video Gamer 1: Well, you're a nerd! 
  • (static) 
  • (car drives) 
  • Guy: I can't wait to eat this- (screams) 
  • (car crushes his burger) 
  • (static) 
  • (Car crashes Mine Turtle and exploded) 
  • (static) 
  • Man 1: Hey, man. Look at my new dog. 
  • Man 2: Oh, yeah. But there's no dog there.
  • Man 1: (uuhing)
  • (looks down)
  • Both: (uuhing)
  • (dog appears)
  • (static)
  • Teenager: Who parked their car on my sandwich?
  • Guy: IT'S YOU, IT'S YOU, IT'S YOU, IT'S YOU!
  • Do the Flop Guy: Everybody do the flop, everybody do the flop, everybody do the flop, everybody do the flop!
  • Teenager: (uuhing, explodes)
  • (static)
  • Singers: Desmond the Moon Bear!
  • (Desmond the skeleton appears)
  • Narrator: The end.
  • (girl screams)
  • (static)
  • (dachshund panting)
  • Owner: You're a dogdip!
  • (High-pich dunn plays)
  • Man 1: No, wait!
  • Girl: Ooh, a puppy!
  • Man 3: Aw, look at the little baby!
  • Both: (uuhing)
  • (credits roll and paused)
  • Guy: Do you ever get tired of being random?
  • (Guy gets back on screen, and he has a beak now)
  • Guy: Me neither.
  • Cow: Yeah, me neither!
  • (credits roll)
  • Guy 2: You can.
  • (Guy pressing The End button)
  • Guy 4: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-
  • Guy 5: You're a diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
  • Guy 6: You killed us allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll-
  • (paused)
  • Guy: Hm.
  • (everyone being R.I.P without the world)

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