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(baby giggling)

Man: Got your nose!

(baby giggles continue)

Officer: Look out! He's got a nose!

(gun fire)

(intro)

Man: You've gotta help me, man! My tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeee...

(other man slowly backs away)

Man: Please don't hurt me...

(tie does a evil laugh)

(STATIC)

Man: Hello parking meter!

Meter: Hello!

(STATIC)

Man on the left: Hey guy, hey, smell my flower.

Man on the right: (sniff) Mmmmmmm

(alien chestburster busts from his chest)

Man on the right: LOL!

(chestburster sldes back into his chest)

(STATIC)

(Man walks up to a button labeled "POINTLESS BUTTON! Warning: Pointless)

(Presses button "click")

(long silence)

Man: Hmm.

(STATIC)

Man on the right: Hey, man. (Man suddenly punches him) OWW! What the hell is wrong with you?!

Announcer: Level up!

Lady: Somebody help me, I'm being robbed!

T-Man: I'll save you! Tree powers activate!

(pop)

Man: Die, potato!!

Potato: Nooooooooooo! (squashed by foot)

Man: (raises knife) Mmmmm... Yum!

(starts to cut cake)

Cake: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

Cake: Why would you do this?!?! I have a wife and family!!

Man: NOOOOOO!!!!

Cake: Ahhh... The pain... It's unbearable!

Man: What have I done?!?!

Cake: Ahhhh... (stumbles towards edge of table) Tell my children I love them...

Cupcakes: DADDY!!!

Cake: Ughhhh... (falls off table)

Man and Cupcakes: NOOOOOO!!

(splat!)

Man on the right: Hey. You know who's gay? (camera zooms in) You.

(looks down and notices that the "man on the left" has stabbed him with a machete)

Man on the right: Aw, come on!!!

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